Regret keeps me company late at night. My idle mind wanders to it. I have regrets about doing it and regrets about not doing it. Nothing in particular, just things in general. Someone once told me they want to live a life without regret. For me, it’s an inevitability.
“Our biggest regrets are not for the things we have done but for the things we haven’t done.”
Chad Michael Murray
Perhaps it’s not all marked by doom. I once heard that dreams are a way for one to work things out safely. You see, back when we lived in nature and predators were a thing, we would have nightmares about them to learn how to evade them the next time we crossed paths with them. Maybe regret requires that perspective. Perhaps it’s teaching us what actions to take next time so that we don’t make mistakes.
“The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits.”
Hervey Allen
Sometimes the choices hang so heavily. It’s almost like the weight of a doorstop, letting the what-ifs flow in. Dancing around in my brain, using my memories as jungle gyms. They balance, teetering on the edge of possibilities. I long to reach out, grab hold of the choice and make it what it should have been. Craft it into a new beginning.
“Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.”
Henry David Thoreau
If they say that youth is wasted on the young, then is regret wasted on the old? What’s the point of learning all these lessons when the game is just about over? Perhaps to pass on to future generations? But remember our own follies when given the word of the wise. Is that not also another regret?
“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been’.”
John Greenleaf Whittier
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Justin, our minds wander where they do; we can choose to direct them though.
We can also welcome everything: breathe in without attaching. Notice & let go. If there is resistance to the letting go, just notice.
Breathe.
Each moment is new. Fresh.
Breathe.
What experience are you interested in now?
Now is the perfect moment.
(This share feels languid to me: almost like you’re adrift on a windless pond, allowing your small boat to take you where it does; it feels peaceful; reflective; a gentle stream of consciousness.)
A teacher of mine once said to us: “We can either take what the universe is offering us in any moment, or waste all our energy running around knocking on doors and wondering why nobody’s home.”
I also ascribe to that timeless truth: “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
There are infinitely many more paths untaken than taken. If we take the time to grieve them all we’ll miss all the flowers we’re passing right this moment on our own.
That was a beautiful thing to share, thank you.
My pleasure, brother.