The Role of Family and Support in My Recovery Journey

Yesterday was a good day. It was my nephew’s birthday. I almost didn’t think I was going to go because I was worried that there would be drama from one of my relatives surrounding my past drug use. However, everybody was very respectful. I’m thankful for that. It was nice having some normalcy while getting to visit with everybody.

I think normalcy and shows of support are important in recovery. Now that I’m sober, and trying to remain so, I would like something in my life to be normal. The drug has reeked so much havoc on my life already, that losing more people to it would only bring me down. Knowing that people are here for me while I am making the “Wise Mind” choices is important. Simply, it’s like rewarding for good behavior.

I remember, this past summer there were 3 months that I was sober. I think I’ve mentioned it in my blog before. During that time, I kept myself pretty busy. However, very few family members and friends were talking to me. It was really unfortunate because without the support, when my business failed I figured I might as well go back to drugs. I also didn’t have any coping skills, which didn’t help. I wasn’t being rewarded mentally for anything that was going on during those three months. I knew that drugs would give me a sense of reward.

Now, I know that it seems wild to relapse just because things are going difficult. Now, I’m in my wise mind. However, when I’m in my emotional mind, it’s very easy to fall back into that thinking. The difference now is that I have coping skills. I was talking to a friend of the family about that last night. How my BPD and PTSD cause impulsive behavior and poor decision-making, which leads to drug use. Some of the coping skills I learned in CBT & DBT taught me how to recognize when I’m having one of those urges so that I can intervene, stop the auto pilot and give myself a small window of time to rationalize whether using the drug is a good idea or a bad idea.

Giving yourself the time to take a moment to consider the consequences can sometimes be everything when it comes to remaining sober. Oftentimes, addicts will feel almost as though they’re on autopilot when they obtain and use the substance of their choice. What we did in the therapy was Behavioral Chain Analysis.

This is a technique often used in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and can also be a part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), especially in the context of understanding and preventing relapse in addiction recovery.

Chain Analysis is a tool used to understand the sequence of events, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that lead to a particular outcome, such as a relapse in the case of addiction. It helps to identify the specific vulnerabilities and situational factors that contribute to the problem behavior. Here’s a brief overview of how it works:

1. Identify the Problem Behavior: This could be the act of using a substance, engaging in addictive behaviors, or any other problematic behavior.
2. Sequence of Events: You then break down the series of events that led to the problem behavior. This includes external events, as well as internal thoughts and feelings.
3. Vulnerabilities: Identifying any pre-existing vulnerabilities that made you more susceptible to engaging in the problem behavior. These can include physical illness, emotional distress, environmental stressors, etc.
4. Consequences: Analyzing the immediate and long-term consequences of the problem behavior.
5. Alternative Actions: Identifying healthier behaviors or coping strategies that could have been used at various points in the chain to prevent the problem behavior.

The purpose of a Chain Analysis in addiction recovery is to gain a detailed understanding of why and how a relapse occurred, which can inform strategies for preventing future relapses. It encourages a thorough exploration of the nuances and complexities of personal behavior patterns, making it a valuable tool for recovery and personal growth.

It’s something I had to do to stop myself from drinking when I was battling alcoholism. It’s something that I have to do now while battling my addiction to amphetamines. Yesterday morning, I woke up during a “using dream.” A “using dream,” also commonly referred to as a “drug dream,” is a phenomenon frequently experienced by individuals in recovery from addiction. These are vivid and often unsettling dreams where the individual dreams about using the substance they are addicted to. Here are some key points about using dreams:

1. Vividness and Realism: These dreams can be exceptionally vivid, making them feel very real. Individuals often dream about the entire process of using — obtaining the substance, using it, and even experiencing the effects or the aftermath.
2. Emotional Impact: Upon waking, individuals might feel a range of emotions, such as guilt, fear, or relief that it was just a dream. These dreams can be emotionally disturbing, especially for those deeply committed to their recovery.
3. Common in Recovery: Using dreams are quite common among people in recovery, especially in the early stages. They tend to occur less frequently as the individual progresses in their recovery journey.
4. Not a Sign of Failure: Importantly, having a using dream is not a sign that the person is failing in their recovery or that they will relapse. Instead, these dreams are a normal part of the recovery process.
5. Possible Causes: The reasons for these dreams aren’t entirely understood, but they may be linked to the brain’s processing of past experiences with substance use. They might also reflect the individual’s fears, struggles, or thoughts about relapse.
6. Therapeutic Importance: Discussing these dreams in therapy can be beneficial. They can provide insights into an individual’s fears and feelings about their addiction and recovery. Therapists might use these dreams as a tool to explore underlying emotions and develop coping strategies.
7. Coping Strategies: Individuals are often encouraged to talk about these dreams with their support network or therapist. Strategies like relaxation techniques, mindfulness, and reaffirmation of one’s commitment to recovery can also be helpful.

In summary, using dreams are a normal part of the recovery process for many individuals with a history of addiction. They can serve as a reminder of the importance of ongoing recovery efforts and the need for strategies to maintain sobriety.

Waking up from a using dream can be difficult, because for the first few minutes of the day, using the substance is on your mind. If you don’t corral the thoughts, they can get away from you and take over the whole day. That can lead to a relapse.

Sorry, I kind of went off on a tangent there. The point I wanted to make with this blog post is how important family and support networks can be in recovery. I’m glad that my family is receptive to me making amends with them.