In a world that often measures worth by job titles and bank accounts, there’s one question that I’ve come to dread: “What do you do for a living?” On the surface, it seems innocuous, a mere pleasantry exchanged between new acquaintances. Yet, for me, it digs much deeper, unearthing feelings of discomfort, inadequacy, and a reminder of paths not taken.
For starters, I’ve never held a position that society deems prestigious or of high esteem. My employment history is a patchwork of roles, primarily in customer service, none of which I’ve held long enough to consider a career. There’s an embarrassment that comes with admitting this, not because these jobs lack value—they’re essential to the fabric of our society—but because of the weight we place on professional achievements as markers of success.
This societal emphasis on what we do for a living overlooks the richness of our human experience. It narrows our worth to a single aspect, often ignoring the diverse talents, passions, and contributions we make outside our jobs. For me, like many others, my job has been a means to an end, not a reflection of my interests or the full measure of my capabilities.
Furthermore, the question can feel invasive, especially for someone who’s experienced stalking in the past. Sharing details about my employment can feel like opening a door to my privacy that I’d rather keep closed. The risk, however subtle, is there, adding a layer of vulnerability to an already uncomfortable interaction.
The complexity and transient nature of my job history also make the question difficult to answer. There’s no straightforward response, no easy way to convey the mosaic of positions I’ve held without feeling a sense of embarrassment over my unconventional path. It’s a reminder of the societal expectation to climb a linear career ladder, an expectation that many of us, for various reasons, do not meet.
Most importantly, the question prompts an internal reflection on my journey and the roads not taken. It’s a reminder of perceived failures and inadequacies, a nudge against wounds of unmet potential and dreams deferred. This isn’t to say I wallow in regret; rather, it’s an acknowledgment that our societal framework often leaves little room for non-linear paths and the unique stories they tell.
In asking, “What do you do for a living?” we might unknowingly echo a societal judgment that measures worth by professional success, inadvertently diminishing the value of the individual in front of us. Perhaps it’s time to consider alternative inquiries that honor the complexity of human existence. Questions that invite stories of passion, curiosity, and life experiences, rather than a mere job title, can foster deeper connections and a more inclusive understanding of success.
So, the next time we meet someone new, let’s set aside the age-old query about one’s profession. Instead, let’s ask about their passions, dreams, and the moments that have defined them. After all, we are far more than what we do to pay the bills; we are a tapestry of experiences, dreams, and contributions to the world, worthy of recognition in all our complexity.
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AMEN! We are far more than what we do.
I feel this post. So true.