• Uncategorized

    The Art of Emotional Observation

    October 30, 2023

        Emotions. I think it’s safe to say that a majority of people experience emotions subconsciously, at least until they or the effects they cause become dramatic. I’ve always had an intuition that the unexamined emotional landscape is a force that is in control of one’s journey. In order to take back control, one needs to become aware of the interplay of emotions one experiences in the day, bringing this awareness to the conscious mind. In order to do that, a person must recognize the emotions they are experiencing first. I think for most people, that is the most difficult…

  • Uncategorized

    My Challenges Being a Friend

    October 28, 2023

        Learning that you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) explains a lot of interpersonal relationship issues that arise. Here, let me grab a list of symptoms and share them with you. It should illustrate what I’m referring to.  Behavioral: Antisocial behavior Compulsive behavior Hostility Impulsivity Irritability Risk-taking behaviors Self-destructive behavior Self-harm Social isolation Lack of restraint Mood: Anger Anxiety General discontent Guilt Loneliness Mood swings Sadness Psychological: Depression Distorted self-image Grandiosity Narcissism Also common: Thoughts of suicide Please note that this is not an exhaustive list of all symptoms of BPD, and that everyone experiences the disorder differently. If you…

  • Uncategorized

    The Difficult Path Leads to Fewer Regrets

    October 26, 2023

        Just got home from treatment. Today went much smoother! There was another Foundation, which I was unaware of. Foundations are the addiction stories of those in treatment, toward the end of their treatment they share their stories. Today, a gentleman shared his story. It was quite moving.His drug of choice is alcohol. He said he dabbled in other stuff when he was younger, but he’s been drinking heavily for two decades. I’m sure that many people reading this are aware that I battled with my own alcoholism not too long ago. I spent most of my twenties battling this…

  • Uncategorized

    Foundation

    October 25, 2023

        Today was difficult. Especially toward the end. We were in group, and in the last group, we had to say goodbye to two people. One of the people was asked to do what is called Foundation. It’s where you share your journey through life with addiction. So, you share where your addiction began, what it’s done to you over the years, the people you lost, etc. It was so difficult to hear this person share their story. It really hit home.     Hearing her reasons for using. Hearing the effects of her use on her life. So much of what…

  • Uncategorized

    The Closet

    October 25, 2023

        Whoops! I was supposed to meet with the prescriber today and just evaluate the prescriptions. Plus, the labs came back, I’m vitamin D deficient. So, another prescription. I told them I’ll be going to CVS from now on. If that doesn’t work, I’ll try a local grocery store. Walmart & Walgreens have no business being in the medical field. I don’t care if they’re not properly staffed. If that’s the case, they need to make the necessary adjustments up-to and including shutting down the pharmacy and not accepting business. Anyways, meeting the prescriber today was supposed to be a telehealth…