Let it all out

Well, this is really weird. Not that I’m awake in the middle of the night, but rather I have the desire to write. That’s not really weird either. The weird part is that I want to write poetry.

I’ve never been one to write poetry. Don’t get me wrong, I like poetry. That’s a rather new development though. It took me a while to understand poetry. As a reader, I’ve always preferred novels to poems, so I suppose that is what stunted my understanding of poems. I envy those who take on poetry and discover a natural talent for it. The little experimenting I’ve done with poetry, it feels like it’s a really good release of emotions.

I think that is what I need right now, a release of emotions. Do you ever get that feeling that you want to burst from the inside and just explode yourself all over everything? Just blow up. Not in anger though, but like… expression. Self-expression to the extreme.

I feel like poetry would be a good outlet for that.

The little bit of research I’ve done, it sounds like the best way to learn poetry is to start reading it. I don’t want to just dive into something like this just willy-nilly. I think I’d like to get a book, a collection of poems by various poets. Anthology, they call it.

I guess I could explain what all started this. I’ve been working a lot more than usual lately because not only am I looking to get my own place, but I also need to replace my laptop. You see, it’s my lifeblood and it’s on the fritz. The display shuts off randomly, and the battery has a warning about needing to be serviced. It might have several months or a year left, or it may have a week or two. Who’s to know? Either way, it’s essential if I want to continue to do the work that I do because I’m fortunate enough to work from home.

So, I’m saving up for a new laptop. Well, refurbished new. I’ve been spending a lot of time shopping around, trying to find the best deal for the specifications that I’m interested in. My current piece of hardware is over eight years old, going on nine? I mean, it’s a MacBook Air from Early 2015. So, I’d kind of like to double the specs with the new one, maybe even upgrade to a MacBook Pro. Anyways, as you can guess I’m really enjoying the shopping process, but I’m frustrated that I have to wait for my work to payout.

Seeing all these newer computers available makes me envious. I guess I should be happy with what I have, I’ve had worse before. I’ve also had better. Better is nicer, much nicer.

The hours I put in at work today can be paid out 7 days from now, so I have to wait a week for my funds to become available. Then, I have to order the new laptop and wait a few days to a week for it to come. So, just by my estimations, it’s going to be at least two weeks before my fingers are typing on a newer laptop. Two weeks.

Two weeks. And I’m unable to sleep right now. I can’t imagine how my sleep will be when I’ve placed the order and I’m having to wait for it. It will be worth it though, it’ll be exciting. I’m laying in bed imaging it instead of sleeping.

I should be asleep. I have things to do tomorrow, including putting more hours in. I should be asleep, damn it. Instead, I’m rambling in a blog post.

On a much more positive note, my therapist gave me an ESA letter this week, meaning Bubba is officially my Emotional Support Animal according to the Fair Housing Act which protects people from being discriminated against because of their disabilities. This way, when I apply for an apartment, it’s guaranteed that Bubba will come with me, which is huge!

The little guy won’t be around forever, unfortunately… but for now, I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s lying next to me sleeping as I type this, frustrated that I’m not asleep as well. He keeps groaning every time I shift around. Clearly, he can sense that I’m frustrated. Typically, he sleeps in his hut next to my bed but tonight he’s sleeping next to me in my bed.

Anyways, I should probably do something productive with my time. Either work or sleep so I can work tomorrow. Writing isn’t going to get me my new laptop.

Feel free to leave a comment, share what type of device is your lifeblood or maybe that special someone that you can’t imagine life without. I look forward to hearing about them!