Frustration Juice

I feel like being creative. But, I feel a block. I want to write, but I can’t get anything out. There’s just too many words to choose from. I tried blackout poetry and a good poem came out but I don’t have the inspiration to draw. The person who taught us said we don’t have to focus on drawing if we’re not good at it. I used to be good at it, I am no longer. I know I can regain the skill if I practice at it but I don’t even know where to start with it.

I don’t know. When I’m producing something, I feel not only productive but valued. Even if no one sees it or likes it in particular. I just feel like tonight I haven’t done anything productive. I keep reminding myself that I posted quite a few blogs earlier today, but they haven’t quelled my thirst. I want to do something more I suppose. I don’t know what.

I have a plot for a book in my mind. I’ve had it for years, nearly 10 years. I can’t get it out onto paper though. Part of the reason is that it just seems so daunting. Part of it is that I don’t feel like I’m a good writer. I know I used to be, I used to get a lot of compliments on my writing. I’ve lost my spark though. All I can do is manipulate data now.

I just miss the days when my creative juices flowed. Group will be over in less than 3 weeks. Maybe I’ll spend my time trying to get the juices flowing again.

I don’t know. I can feel myself growing frustrated. In this moment.

I think I’m just going to read or watch a video.