From Rock Bottom to Rising: My Story of Hope and Recovery

Most recently, I shared that I’m living in a shelter. The beginning was rough, and the progress toward getting back on my feet started out slowly, but as of recently, there have been a lot of developments. Over the past month I have been putting a lot of work into getting my trifecta together. The trifecta being housing-transportation-employment.

When one’s life crumbles, the components of the trifecta disintegrate. Losing one of these three items increases the difficulty of various aspects of one’s life. For example, if you lose employment, it puts financial strain on many areas of your life. If you lose access to transportation, especially in the US, it increases the difficulty of maintaining stability. You lose two parts of this triangle and it puts strain on the third and remaining piece. Losing all of them can make it damn near impossible to get back on your feet. At least this is my observation.

I have been fortunate through my journey to have maintained steady and flexible employment. That hasn’t stopped me from pursuing further employment. I recently accepted a job offer, and I will be starting on Tuesday. This new job requires me to be on-site, unlike my primary job. For that reason, I directed my attention toward the pursuit of transportation. Let me explain in some depth.

When I was in my mid-twenties, I lost my driving privileges because of a driving while intoxicated citation. In my early thirties, I tried to reinstate my license and follow through on the restrictions and requirements in the hopes of becoming a fully fledged driver again. However, my abusive ex and I split apart, and I found myself drowning in the turbulent waves of depression. I lost both of my jobs and resorted to an extended retreat in my bed.

When I finally stepped out of my bed, I realized that my life had fallen apart. All of the accomplishments and privileges I had worked toward acquiring had disappeared when I abandoned them. Realizing this put me into a cycle of despair. I masked this in a very unhealthy way, through substances. I felt so much hopelessness and despair; there wasn’t very much that I could hold onto that would bring me happiness.

This was when I navigated through my darkest times. Fortunately, a savior was in my presence. When the world wrote me off for dead, he showed me purpose. This gave me the drive to begin to evaluate my situation. Because of him, I found the strength to reach out to the one last person in this world who believed in me, my great-aunt. She took me in, encouraged me to seek help, and stood by my side while I readjusted to sobriety. That was over a year ago.

My journey toward rebuilding my life has been a long one. The achievement of the goals (restoring my trifecta) seemed daunting. Especially because I had so many adjustments to make, reestablishing my foundation (even mentally, but also financially) took a lot of persistence. There were a lot of bumps in the road, setbacks, wrong decisions, and strife. I’m aware that the challenges are not over, but about a month ago, I took a moment to become still and hold communion with the universe. I prayed.

I prayed for a new financial opportunity to come. I released my control and removed the restrictions I had placed on how this income would be sourced and agreed to be open to opportunities that present themselves. While in the shelter, I applied for many jobs. Jobs that a year earlier I would have avoided purely because I felt burnt out in that sector. The reasoning was that I realized the old trope about beggars being choosers was in full application within my own life. I needed to swallow my pride and return to what was familiar, so I began to apply for customer service positions.

I received a callback for a work-from-home position, but the pay wasn’t very appealing. I still prayed that they would take me on. I didn’t have a great deal of confidence in the outcome, which prompted me to get still once again. Now, it’s probably important to mention that I have been diving deep into various spiritual/metaphysical topics and noticed a trend. The universe was nearly slapping me across the face and yelling, “Meditate!” Everywhere I looked, I noticed that the word meditation kept presenting itself. Well, I believe that when the universe speaks, it’s imperative to listen and take heed to its word.

Typically, the universe provides me with its messages in whispers. Gentle nudges. The direction to meditate was not presented in a typical manner. The universe has been very persistent in this. So, I sat in my room and became quiet. Through determination, I was able to find a moment or two of mental quiet, and I released on finding a component of the trifecta. It was my way of giving up control over my path and allowing the universe the space to provide me with a path.

No more than 2 days later, I was at a relative’s house, caring for Bubba. My phone rang from an unknown number in a different state. Normally, I do not answer these calls because they’re usually spam or scammers. What felt like an impulse, but now I realize was influenced by the greater power, I answered the call. The gentleman on the phone explained that he had found an outdated resume of mine on the internet and was interested in receiving an updated copy for a potential position. I told him that our conversation was kismet. This was the universe providing for me when I gave it the opportunity. In those moments, it is crucial to recognize what is happening and allow or even encourage it.

Apparently, receiving a job offer was the push I needed to boost my confidence and pursue the next component of the trifecta. I recently reinstated my driver’s license. I reached out to friends & family about acquiring transportation and was able to come to an agreement with a good friend of mine about purchasing one of their vehicles, which we plan on me doing sometime this week. This means that soon I will have two components of the trifecta: employment & transportation. Housing is the final one and the universe is still showing me that the path will be paved only when there is room for it to be laid.

I’m currently in the planning stages of getting an apartment or house with a few other people I met in the shelter. These people have shown me myself again. For so long, I was in what I can only call a dissociative state. Especially after living in Wautoma, where I was under consistent psychological abuse. These new people in my life brought my essence back into my body and showed me who I was.

I don’t know the exact trajectory of my path, but I have faith in the power greater than me to provide for me what I need.

I just wanted to take a moment and share with my readers that I am now selling tarot readings on my website. If this is something that interests you, take a moment to read my recent reviews. Many people find resonance in my readings. I would like an opportunity to share messages from the universe with you as well!