Coping with Anxiety in the Workplace

I wrote this last night, and wasn’t sure whether or not I wanted to post it, but I figured I would after reading it tonight.

This week has been kind of stressful. Last week I interviewed for a front desk position at a hotel. I was offered the job and worked over the weekend. That’s why I haven’t been as active on my blog. It was a nice hotel and the other staff was really nice. The unfortunate part is that my anxiety got the best of me today so I had to give them my notice. They’re looking for someone dependable that’s going to be there when scheduled. I can’t make that commitment.

I keep feeling the need to address my anxiety and explain it to my readers but at the same time, I feel like everybody has experienced anxiety to some degree at some point. How my anxiety is different is that it’s more pronounced and intrusive. It comes a lot from entering into social situations, especially with unfamiliar people. Why, might you ask, did I choose to apply for a hotel job? Well, I thought the coping skills that I learned in therapy would help me, and I tried to use them today and cope with it but it was too much. I also have little experience in any other field. I would prefer something where I’m working with the same small group of people each day. I can’t seem to find any positions on Indeed that match that description. I’m thinking I’m not searching for the right thing.

Anyway, on the positive side of things, I am working with DWD to find a job that’s better suited for me. I think I’m going to give them a call tomorrow and ask if there’s any way to speed up the process. When I did the intake call last week, the woman I spoke to said that it would take 3 to 4 weeks for me to hear back from a career counselor. I don’t really have 3 to 4 weeks. I need to find something as soon as possible.

Sometimes, things like this really make me hate the life I live. It triggers my depression. Like tonight, for example, I have a lot on my mind which is why I’m blogging. I’m trying to work through it because I’m not having any luck falling asleep. Then tomorrow, I will sleep in late and the relative that I’m staying with will think all I do is sleep. She’s asleep right now, so she doesn’t see that I’m awake until one or two in the morning.

I’ve tried a lot of different sleeping medications; prescription and over-the-counter. None of them seem to work very well for me. They might work for a night or two and then I’m back to staying awake until two in the morning. There is one pill that sort of works, but for some reason, it has started to make my nose congested after I take it. Even my doctor thought that was unusual, that it would start to have a reaction like that after having worked fine for so long. I wonder if it’s psychosomatic. Like, my brain just doesn’t want me to sleep so bad that it has to create issues if I find workarounds.