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    The Difficult Path Leads to Fewer Regrets

    October 26, 2023

        Just got home from treatment. Today went much smoother! There was another Foundation, which I was unaware of. Foundations are the addiction stories of those in treatment, toward the end of their treatment they share their stories. Today, a gentleman shared his story. It was quite moving.His drug of choice is alcohol. He said he dabbled in other stuff when he was younger, but he’s been drinking heavily for two decades. I’m sure that many people reading this are aware that I battled with my own alcoholism not too long ago. I spent most of my twenties battling this…

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    Foundation

    October 25, 2023

        Today was difficult. Especially toward the end. We were in group, and in the last group, we had to say goodbye to two people. One of the people was asked to do what is called Foundation. It’s where you share your journey through life with addiction. So, you share where your addiction began, what it’s done to you over the years, the people you lost, etc. It was so difficult to hear this person share their story. It really hit home.     Hearing her reasons for using. Hearing the effects of her use on her life. So much of what…

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    The Closet

    October 25, 2023

        Whoops! I was supposed to meet with the prescriber today and just evaluate the prescriptions. Plus, the labs came back, I’m vitamin D deficient. So, another prescription. I told them I’ll be going to CVS from now on. If that doesn’t work, I’ll try a local grocery store. Walmart & Walgreens have no business being in the medical field. I don’t care if they’re not properly staffed. If that’s the case, they need to make the necessary adjustments up-to and including shutting down the pharmacy and not accepting business. Anyways, meeting the prescriber today was supposed to be a telehealth…

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    Sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep

    October 23, 2023

        This will be a short post. I took my sleeping pill last night, and I got really good sleep! I forgot that the sleeping pill leaves me with a hangover in the morning. It I kind of had a headache at the front of my head, my nose is like stuffy and hurts and like my whole front of the face is like congested and in pain. And I am still super tired, and that’ll last for a couple hours. The only thing that will kick me out of this is caffeine and so I’m sitting in the garage…

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    Sleep: Underrated

    October 22, 2023

        Late last night, or rather early this morning was really difficult. I’m staying with my great aunt and she spends a lot of her time babysitting one of her great-grandchildren. He’s a great kid, very articulate, smart and friendly. Lots of energy! Well, yesterday his parents asked my great-aunt if she would be willing to watch him overnight last night. I guess they said they wanted to go out for dinner and then get some rest. They had not been resting well at night.      She got him into bed rather early, between 8 PM and 9 PM. She…

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    Hell Around

    October 22, 2023

     All of the meth must be out of my system. My fucked up dopamine receptors are triggering the RLS again. Back to sleepless nights. At least when I was on meth, I had no interest in sleeping. I had energy and I could do stuff. Even if it was stupid meaningless stuff. During my three months of sobriety before my recent relapse, the only way I could sleep was if I pushed through and gave up the idea of sleep for 3-4 days. I’ve always struggled with insomnia. But after 30 hours of being awake, I could crash. Meaning, I…