So, this morning, I have a doctor’s appointment to bring my great aunt to. She broke her ankle around the time that I moved in. Today, there are x-rays to determine how well it’s healing. Then we find out how long she has to wear this god-awful boot. I feel bad about the boot; her mobility is obviously hindered by it. Not only is it rigid, but it’s very heavy and difficult to maneuver. Then after this appointment, I’ll be bringing her back home, and I’ll be going to my own appointment. I have to call therapy and tell them…
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For the most part, I really enjoy the treatment program that I’m in. I feel that CBT & DBT really resonate with me. Not only does it make logical sense, but it’s very relaxed and forgiving. I really think that had it been strict and regimented, I would be in opposition to it the whole time. Everything that I’ve learned through treatment has proven useful in a lot of ways. Not only with addiction recovery, but depression, anxiety, mood stabilization, dealing with stressors, and more. Today, however… Today has been difficult. I left the house feeling annoyed today. I don’t…
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We learned in more depth what “schemas” are and how they affect us. For example, a big schema for me is abandonment or fear of abandonment. This schema plays out in my relationships in such a way that I tend to push people away before they can push me away. This also falls in line with my BPD. Our workbook defines schemas as “enduring negative patterns that develop during childhood or adolescence.” There are a lot of different schemas, but here are some of mine and examples of how they manifest: To people looking in from the outside, some of…
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First group, we spoke a bit about trauma. I think we’re supposed to touch on the subject but the way I’ve been reacting to things and bringing to my therapist makes me think they’re preparing me for the possibility that I may not be equipped to go through trauma based therapy yet. They spoke of the importance of having stability in one’s life before beginning trauma therapy. I can see the importance of that for sure. Stability though. I have had glimpses of that throughout my life but it’s always been just out of reach. Sorry, side note. It’s freaking…