My group session is from 3p to 6p. I try to stay busy in the mornings and early afternoons. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. Today, I got distracted quite a bit. But, I also did quite a bit of work. Even got a couple other blog posts drafted and scheduled which is nice. I think now I’m going to do more work. I need to get money saved up to renew my website. I’ve had it for a year already, so it needs to be renewed. I guess I’ll work on that until it’s time to leave…
I feel like being creative. But, I feel a block. I want to write, but I can’t get anything out. There’s just too many words to choose from. I tried blackout poetry and a good poem came out but I don’t have the inspiration to draw. The person who taught us said we don’t have to focus on drawing if we’re not good at it. I used to be good at it, I am no longer. I know I can regain the skill if I practice at it but I don’t even know where to start with it. I don’t…
Patience A Morning of Virtue Expansion Today was busy already. We ran three different errands. Since I’m not working full-time, we went to the Salvation Army to get gas money. It’s for the trips to and from Rogers. They were able to help with $50 worth of money which was nice of them to help with. After that, we drove to the community clothes closet. It’s a place sort of like Goodwill, where people donate their old or unwanted clothing items. The difference is that the customers don’t have to pay for the clothing. It’s given for free, which I’m…
In this reflective blog post, the author grapples with the decision to decline a New Year's Eve invitation due to being in treatment and abstaining from drinking. Despite the financial benefit of not consuming alcohol, the temptation in a drinking environment proves too challenging. On a lighter note, the post includes the etymology of the word "reneg," likely derived from "renegade," exploring its historical roots.
I wake up at 8 AM every morning. It’s tiring. LOL There was something on my mind… Oh yeah! I was listening to Christmas music. This is probably the first year in over 10 years that I’ve been in the mood for Christmas music when Christmas time is around. Normally, it isn’t until June or July that I get in the mood for Christmas, and by then it’s too late. Part of me wonders if it has anything to do with my sobriety. Oh man, am I tired. I slept well when I slept but I did not sleep the…
After a refreshing nap, frustration lifted, and I tackled my obligations. Discussing persistent outbursts with the prescriber, I set up PCP and therapy appointments post-RogersBH. Exploring a website tool for business prospects, though pricey, tempts me. Meanwhile, a dynamic blog post tool empowers me to schedule a month's worth, enhancing website traffic and SEO.
There are moments, like right now where I wish I lived in a rough neighborhood. I would without hesitation pick a fight with an armed street gang. We need more of those in Appleton. More armed gangsters. I’m so sick and tired of my life. I’m tired of the struggle just to live each day. I’m tired of having to conform to society’s standards and norms. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay every day. That’s all it is. A huge charade. Everybody has to know, that the day after Bubba dies is the day I die. He’s the only thing…
Friday, I was discharged from the hospitalization treatment. That was the 6-hour-a-day treatment. Today, I have to in a half hour early to do onboarding for the Intensive Outpatient (IOP). Then it will be 3 hours a day, from 3pm to 6pm. I had a dream about the structure of my life. I think my mind was beginning to reject the rigid structure. Some of it I find helpful, like waking up at the same time each day. Other parts, like the rigid obligation of the schedule, are really frustrating. I know that some people may not like that I…
Another wonderful day in the life of Justin. When I was having that episode about people going through my mail, and because I didn’t know when or where I would have a more permanent address, I put my mail on hold. Well, today I had time to pick it up. So, I went to the post office and I put a change of address in. In order to pick up the mail, I had to go to two other post offices, the 2nd one has the mail directed through the 3rd one. The guy at the 3rd one was pretty…
Taking a break during lunch, I'm reflecting on my journey dealing with addiction, borderline personality disorder (BPD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Recognizing I won't achieve perfection, I've noticed progress in coping skills and early identification of mood shifts. Despite repeated group reviews, I feel closer to a "typical life" and am determined to sustain this positive momentum.