They named it a thorn — the scratch they found on their skin one summer when loneliness bit harder than the sun. At first, they told stories of how it bled, how it scabbed, how it made them special in a town too small for difference. Their friends nodded, offered bandages, believed it was deeper than it was. So they limped, they winced, they stitched new sorrow around it — each thread a borrowed ache. Years passed. They learned to walk with a limp no one asked for, to spin every silence into a sermon on how to suffer beautifully.…
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Most recently, I shared that I’m living in a shelter. The beginning was rough, and the progress toward getting back on my feet started out slowly, but as of recently, there have been a lot of developments. Over the past month I have been putting a lot of work into getting my trifecta together. The trifecta being housing-transportation-employment. When one’s life crumbles, the components of the trifecta disintegrate. Losing one of these three items increases the difficulty of various aspects of one’s life. For example, if you lose employment, it puts financial strain on many areas of your life. If…
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Your body doesn’t lie. That tightness in your chest, the restless legs, the hum of nerves under your skin—it’s all part of it. Recovery has a way of making stillness feel impossible, like sitting in a room that’s too quiet after a lifetime of noise. So don’t sit. Don’t wait for the calm to come find you. Go outside, move until your muscles ache more than your thoughts do. There’s clarity in motion that you just can’t get from thinking. Get a Grip on Routine You might not think of exercise as a compass, but it is. Wake up, stretch,…
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After a recent relapse, I found myself at a crossroads—staring into the eyes of the one being who has never given up on me. In this moment of clarity, I realized the depth of my journey, the struggles that shaped me, and the strength I still have left. This is about fighting forward, step by step, with hope as my guide.
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World peace. No, seriously, though. I think that should be it for everybody. But I think this prompt is asking us to think of ourselves more specifically. My first instinct is to say “lifelong financial security” or something along those lines. That would certainly be the greatest gift for most people. I’ve been thinking about how to answer this all day. I was going to say something about emotional regulation or conflict resolution, but I think the greatest gift somebody could give me would be to acquire and improve skills more efficiently. Since we can go any way with this,…
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Playtime and Video Games I almost didn’t think I was going to make this by midnight. But yes, I do play. Typically playtime to me looks like video games. I spend a lot of time playing them because they get my mind off of my problems. Just don’t expect me to be too good at them. lol What Defines Playtime? Playtime is anything that isn’t productive, right? I guess I would also consider managing my websites, something that I do in my playtime, but this blog, in particular, feels more important than that. I use this blog to process a…
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My Biggest Challenges: A Journey Through Fear and Self-Sabotage What are my biggest challenges? Where do I even begin to start? I guess I should start by saying that I’m known for self-sabotaging anything that could possibly give me an advantage in life. I don’t do it intentionally. I find myself in a situation where I have to make a choice, and no matter how much time, consideration, or external feedback I gather, I always end up making the wrong decision. Bad Luck or Something Deeper? I think a lot of people chalk it up to bad luck. This prompt…
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Nostalgia has become such a… trend, I guess? Obviously, I think nostalgia, the feeling, has been around for a while, but society seems to be really enticed by it. Maybe that’s just my observation? I’m not complaining, though, I like nostalgia in moderate doses. When I want to feel those feelings again, there are several resources I might employ. I’m a child of the ’90s and ’00s, so most of my nostalgia comes from those decades. I enjoy watching old Nickelodeon cartoons that were on in the 90s. Hey Arnold! is one of my favorites. I really would like to…
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I think that it’s important for political views to change as people grow and learn. I know my political views have changed over time. I can’t describe exactly how here. I know one thing, I’ve become less politically charged than I used to be. The first time Trump was elected president, I was pretty adamant that I would change people’s opinions. I learned that very little can be done to change people’s political views. Or, rather it’s very difficult to change someone’s views. As I get older, I realize that I hold my own views because I feel that they’re…
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I would like my own office space with a reading nook. That would be nice. I sort of have an office space at my friends house. A laptop desk and chair, which makes it much nicer to work. The desk was only $20 because of a Black Friday sale. Well worth the $20 if you ask me. Regardless of whether I’m reading or writing, I do like to have space to myself. I think time alone is important. In moderation, of course. I have to remind myself at times that too much alone time can be a bad thing. They…