Positive Assessments

I have a little more time now. We’re on a lunch break.

What’s nice is that I had to do an assessment, an exit assessment. I did one on admit day. I noticed a significant improvement. I’m nowhere near perfect, and I won’t ever be “healed” of my addiction, or the BPD/PTSD, but I feel I’ve come a long way with my coping skills. I’m beginning to recognize when my mood is unstable and I’m able to apply the coping skills earlier in the emotion chains.

Having a ‘typical life’ seems much more in grasp now than it did 6-months ago. I’m surprised because when I was using I didn’t think anything like this could be possible. I know I have lot of work ahead of me, but it feels like it’s within my grasp.

The next steps are going to be 3 hours a day, during the last two groups. I’ve already been in those groups during the first bit, so I know what I’ll be doing. I’m hoping that we get to expand on the material a bit more. A lot of it is beginning to feel like a review, which can be good. But, for example, the group I just had on my last day was about anxiety and coping. It was the third time I’ve reviewed this.

A lot has changed just in the two months that I’ve been coming. Some people have come and gone, others have transitioned and others have just started. I’m glad that I’ve stuck through it and I’m still making it. There have been a few hiccups but I think that’s to be expected considering the amount of trauma and stuff that I’ve experienced. But, like Brene Brown says, sometimes just showing up is winning. I think I’m winning, it’s how I feel and that feels good. 🙂

I want that feeling to keep going, so I’m going to hold onto that for as long as I can.

Take care.