Cold & Windy

So, this morning, I have a doctor’s appointment to bring my great aunt to. She broke her ankle around the time that I moved in. Today, there are x-rays to determine how well it’s healing. Then we find out how long she has to wear this god-awful boot. I feel bad about the boot; her mobility is obviously hindered by it. Not only is it rigid, but it’s very heavy and difficult to maneuver.

Then after this appointment, I’ll be bringing her back home, and I’ll be going to my own appointment. I have to call therapy and tell them I’ll be coming in late. If the appointment is 40-60 minutes long, that will put me right around the time for the first group session, which I believe is at 1:45 pm. I have to call therapy and tell them that I’m going to be late. If you don’t show up on time, they call for a welfare check as a precaution. It makes sense, but it can be a bit frustrating, but it’s understandable.

So, she already had the x-ray. The appointment itself shouldn’t take more than 10-15 minutes. I’m in no rush, my appointment isn’t until 12:30 pm. I should be reviewing this packet that my therapist gave me. It’s full of coping techniques. The packet is quite dense. Reviewing the packet is supposed to help me remember the coping techniques for when I need them, like last night. My great-aunt was around to calm me down, but she is not always going to be available. I have other resources like a number I can call and a number I can text… but ultimately, the goal is for me to be able to rely on coping techniques without having to rely on an external source for mental stability.

I’m not the only one in recovery that says this though. It’s difficult at the moment to remember to use the coping techniques. Your mind is racing, it’s upset. Your body is going through the fight or flight response, so your bodily functions are in an excited state. To calm your mind enough to refer to coping techniques in and of itself is a challenge.d

In therapy, they use a 1-7 scale instead of a 1-10 scale. When I’m at a 4 or 5, I can usually remember the coping techniques. It’s when I’m at a 6 or 7 that things are too stressful and my mind doesn’t go to what we all want it to.

I’m still tired. I’m sitting in a waiting room and typing as we speak. If Bubba could, I would make him switch spots with me. I think he would resent that. He’s probably at home enjoying the peace & quiet. Probably napping. That will all change soon. My cousin will be coming over after we finish with this appointment. Then, the house becomes much more lively.