Wisdom, Solitude, and the Shift in Social Circles

I’ve been pondering how to answer this question all day. Significant life events and even just the passing of time make a person grow, hopefully. Thinking back on significant events that took place in my life, I know that one of the things that changed was my priorities. Inconsequential stuff doesn’t seem as important when you have larger-than-life events taking place. For example, when my mom was passing away from brain cancer and I had to work in Customer Service, listening to consumers complain about their products was more difficult than ever. It made going to work nearly unbearable.

Another way that it affects a person is their adaptability and perseverance. Going through a difficult time makes someone more adaptable, hopefully making future events a little more manageable to deal with. I know that having gone through some difficult times myself, I have way more capabilities now than I did say 10 years ago. Not to say that I can handle everything that comes my way, but there are certain processes that I can utilize now that weren’t known to me back then.

Another thing that the passing of time affects is one’s knowledge and learning. I feel that as I grow older, it has become more cumbersome to pick up newer skills, but the benefit of growing older is that I have more wisdom on my side. I also approach learning differently. When I was younger, I was able to soak up knowledge without really having to think about it. Now, as I age I have to be more diligent about learning and make a concerted effort.

I’ve also noticed that the social network or community that I choose to keep in my life is different than it was. In my twenties, I would be friends with just about anyone. These days, I am a bit choosier about who I keep in my space. I am also a little more selective with how I choose to use my time. I value my time more than I used to, and I made a lot of sacrifices in the past that I don’t necessarily feel that I have to make anymore. I’m okay with being alone, and I don’t often feel lonely. Therefore, I don’t feel a strong urge to constantly be in the presence of others. I am comfortable with myself, and I know what I enjoy and do not enjoy doing. It makes being alone quite nice; peaceful and relaxing.

I think I want to talk about that subject a little more. Loneliness, especially after the pandemic seems to be all over the place. I am constantly hearing from people in my life that they are lonely and they seem so desperately to be seeking companionship of some sort. I don’t think that this comes from the pandemic. I think it was only exacerbated by it. I think the real source of loneliness is people’s constant desire to be entertained. Everyone always has to be doing something, and the moment stimulation disappears, they are driven insane by being alone with themselves.

I’m sure this isn’t typical of most people, and I think it’s changing as I grow older but when I am out with others, I tend to be very social. So, when I have downtime and time to be alone, I really cherish it and appreciate the space to recharge my “social battery.” If I spend too much time socializing with others, I can become really burnt out very quickly.

Things irrevocably changed since the pandemic. Yes, society seems to be less inclined to socialize when compared to the previous times. However, since we can’t force others to spend more time socializing, I think it’s important that people become more accustomed to being alone. While we are social creatures, and there are true health benefits to socializing, I think the same could be said for solitude. At least for me, as I grow older I appreciate my alone time more and more.

What about you? Leave a comment and let me know whether you’ve noticed a growing appreciation for having your own space, or if you still prefer to primarily keep the company of others.