The Difficult Path Leads to Fewer Regrets

    Just got home from treatment. Today went much smoother! There was another Foundation, which I was unaware of. Foundations are the addiction stories of those in treatment, toward the end of their treatment they share their stories. Today, a gentleman shared his story. It was quite moving.
His drug of choice is alcohol. He said he dabbled in other stuff when he was younger, but he’s been drinking heavily for two decades. I’m sure that many people reading this are aware that I battled with my own alcoholism not too long ago. I spent most of my twenties battling this addiction. I may periodically think about drinking but the urges aren’t so strong anymore.
    However, when he was sharing his story there was a LOT that resonated with me. There were definitely a few parts that were unfamiliar. However, the overall story and many of the details hit so close to home. The loss of friends, the looking back and seeing all your old drinking buddies having moved on in life, seizures, tremors, broken promises, outright lies, and so much more. 

    The day started with a new admission, and between the four of us, there was a lot of talk about stims and other hard drugs. It definitely gave me cravings this morning but having heard this guy’s story around alcohol took my mind off of that. Alcohol is a tricky addiction, far harder than meth or the other “hard” drugs. It is a socially acceptable drug, especially in Wisconsin. There is a bar on nearly every corner here. As he mentioned, most of his family & friends drink on a regular basis. He said he has very little support, only one family member who is supportive of his choice to get clean. Meth is not like that. Everyone that I don’t consider my “support” is people who are so disgusted with my choices that they refuse to talk to me. He made it sound like all those people he still has in his life, which is less than he had before his addiction, don’t want him to get clean. For that reason, alcohol can be a more difficult addiction to kick. 
    Another point he made was the ability he has to be open and honest within the walls of the treatment building. He is striving to bring that into his everyday life but it can be difficult, I definitely understand that. He also mentioned how he lied about everything to protect his vice. I really appreciated him making such a strong point about that. I think if most people figure out their vice and their addiction, and they examine that objectively they will see that they sometimes bend or even hide the truth from others.

    So many people are ashamed of their addiction, their vice, and their vulnerabilities. The other day, I got a ride home from Uber and tonight I took a Lyft. Both times, the driver of the vehicle disclosed that they were recovering addicts. I have seen little synchronicities all throughout my life the past few weeks. It’s very apparent that addiction is everywhere, it affects everyone. Even if you haven’t used substances, people use their image, their words, their eyes, their ears, their minds, all for the sake of controlling their brain’s pleasure centers unnaturally.
    For example, I know someone who likes to get the latest gossip so that they can go around and share it with others. They may not be aware or want to admit to it but they clearly receive artificial dopamine hits every time they share gossip with another person that is new to the recipient. One thing is certain, everyone has an addiction. Everyone suffers from an out-of-control relationship with something or someone. I explained to the driver of the rideshare, that there is no reason for the judgment, the stigma, and all of the negativity surrounding addiction. 

    I think that when someone comes forward and shares their addiction with another person, the last thing we should do is shun them. We need to accept them, welcome them with open arms, and tell them that they are not alone. We need to stand by their side, help, and guide them on their path of recovery if they are choosing that. So many times, a fellow user would tell me they wish they could get clean. They don’t know where to start, where to go, or whom to go. Unconditional love for another person, love that is bigger than addiction and embraces vulnerabilities for the strength and power that they are, that is the kind of love that will help people! That is the kind of love that will encourage addicts to come forward and ask for help getting clean! That is the kind of love that we need in this world, now more than ever.

    So, please. If you know someone who is going through a difficult time moderating something in their lives, go be supportive. Be present and available. Tell them, you’re there for them now and when they’re ready; whenever that is. There is no one else in this world that needs you more at that moment than a loved one going through addiction. I promise you, it won’t be easy but you won’t regret it. 

Take care.