There are moments, like right now where I wish I lived in a rough neighborhood. I would without hesitation pick a fight with an armed street gang. We need more of those in Appleton. More armed gangsters.
I’m so sick and tired of my life. I’m tired of the struggle just to live each day. I’m tired of having to conform to society’s standards and norms. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay every day. That’s all it is. A huge charade. Everybody has to know, that the day after Bubba dies is the day I die. He’s the only thing that keeps me going each day. And all people keep talking about is chopping off his balls. That’s their biggest concern! CHOP MY BALLS OFF! It’ll reduce my probability of testicular cancer by 100%. It will calm my mood down. It will make me conform to society better. ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU ALL WANT?!
They reduced my mood stabilizer because it was making me restless. I wish I lived somewhere where I COULD FUCKING GO FOR A WALK. I took another pill and I’ll just take more gabapentin when I’m restless. Isn’t that how being a human works? Just take pills to fix your problems?!
I’m getting sick of nothing working right for me. NOTHING. I’m so sick of this hell that I live in every day of my life. BUT I HAVE TO BE SOBER BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS ME TO BE SOBER. SOBER. SOBER. SOBER.
Well, this is me sober.
Take care.
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