Trauma and Tomorrow

First group, we spoke a bit about trauma. I think we’re supposed to touch on the subject but the way I’ve been reacting to things and bringing to my therapist makes me think they’re preparing me for the possibility that I may not be equipped to go through trauma based therapy yet. They spoke of the importance of having stability in one’s life before beginning trauma therapy. I can see the importance of that for sure. Stability though. I have had glimpses of that throughout my life but it’s always been just out of reach.

Sorry, side note. It’s freaking cold out today!

If I’m not ready for trauma therapy, I think I’m going to have to get very serious about the stability aspect after I get done with addiction therapy. I think that’s got to be my goal, then perhaps I can reconnect with them and go through trauma therapy at a later date. It sucks to think about it though, because I was really looking forward to addressing the trauma. It’s something that I’ve realized I live with for a long time. I’m also scared of just how easily it is going to be to get back into substance use after treatment. It will be a real test of what I’ve learned in therapy. I’m going to have to put to use any and all of the coping skills that I’ve picked up while here.

There’s one part that I highlighted during our first group session today that really stood out for me and that is making or reconnecting with supportive friends. I used to have such a good group of those in the past but because of various factors, almost all of them have kind of dissipated. Either their lives took over (jobs, families, etc) or because the path I took in life has diverted so much from theirs that we just stopped keeping touch.

Bathroom! I chugged so much water and Monster, I have been peeing all day! I have to keep this post short because of that. This evening is going to be busy. Maybe I can blog from my phone or bring or bring my laptop with me while grocery shopping. Either way, I kind of let this fall by the wayside last week and I would like to get back into it again. I don’t want to stop blogging like I have with so many other blogs, so that will be one of my primary things to focus on. However, I did buy new batteries for my Xbox controller, so I would like to keep up with that and both battle passes are finished in a month! So much do to do, so little time!